This has been a jam packed week indeed!
We've had:
1. First Midwife's appointment (detailed as per the last blog)
2. Afternoon tea with Ginny Pang (neighbour)
3. Acupuncture with Maurice Tuckwell
4. Increased hours at work
5. Earthquake!!!
6. Woo... this funny feelin'
1. To Ante Natal or not...
So... following on from the Midwife's consult, Andrew's good colleague Rebecca kindly invited us to an introduction to all things nappy at the Southern Cross Bar, run by the Nappy Lady: http://www.thenappylady.co.nz/Andrew and I have been talking about ante natal classes after the midwife consult, as the week before, his friend and new mum Megan had advised that it is very important to go to one, for networking and social bonding, as well as general advise and keeping sane.
Lots of other friends have recommended them to us also, but somehow I still had misgivings... It didn't help that prior to falling pregnant, I was reading books with titles such as "Coffee Group Drop Out", and other rebel mum authors which pooh-poohed groups which grow out of ante natal classes. Other books I've read were rather more negative about what actually gets taught at these classes. Albeit these are American authors, but I'm guessing some of these issues will be the same here in little 'ol NZ.
For example: the 'breast is best' stance, and no teaching other feeding techniques at ante natal classes (cos it'll give mums ideas!) and natural birth is best are the two biggest issues.
Teaching expecting mums that breast feeding is a joyful experience and very easy has been reported by these authors as a soul destroying myth. As one found that she couldn't breast feed after a C-section, and then her milk didn't come in. So she felt like a failure. Then there are the ones who found breast feeding really really hurt, unlike the joyful bonding experience they've been brain washed into expecting, feeding their child became a daily torture that they couldn't wait to escape. Then there are the ones that were frustrated because they were told breast feeding was easy, but when they did it after returning home from the hospital, found that it wasn't as easy as they made it out to be. So they spent the first few days after discharge repeatedly latching and unlatching the baby to their painful breasts (while the baby quickly lost precious weight), and feeling utterly miserable because they feel like a failure.
It just seemed to me that these women would probably have been able to face whatever the baby and life threw at them if they were just prepared a bit more realistically during ante natal class, rather than giving them the rosy picture that all is simple and well if they just followed the golden rules. In the end, most of these authors ended up getting post natal depression; and that's even before they go to the Competitive Mommy Coffee Group For America's Future Einsteins catch ups!
I would really like your input on this issue. Should a normal, literate, not very social, already have a great support network and mummy friends aplenty new mum really benefit from ante natal class?
Oh, in addition, there are two different types of ante natal classes in Wellington. Community based (which costs around $200) and hospital run classes (which is free).
There are two community based classes that I could go to. However, none of them are within walking distance, they are not cheap, their start times are after my usual bed time, and seem to be a membership / sales generating organisation (they say the classes' fee includes one-year membership, discounts at all Wellington baby store retailers, and can hire breast pumps). All classes seem to be run by experienced midwives, but only the hospital ones are actually at a hospital. Community based ones make coffee groups and social interactions a big part of their draw card, and a lot of mums suggest I use them because of that. And I do worry (slightly) about the kind of mums that show up for the hospital's free classes (are they teenagers, people on the dole etc?)... but since I am pretty sure I won't have the time or the inclination to socialise with anyone outside of my baby, family and friends, I don't think I will be bothered either way.
But if you feel that I am missing the point, or that I am just being too negative, or a worry wort, then please say so too. I am open to all your advise and suggestions.
2. Afternoon Tea with Ginny
Ginny and Gabe are parents to two lovely young men who have recently moved up to Auckland to pursue their respective university careers. So with an empty nest, they kindly offered to give advise and impart wisdom and even offered to baby sit!!! (that's before they saw or knew what trouble we will give birth to, so this is not a legally binding contract)
We've gone through a lot together with Gabe and Ginny. Gabe is in the Bodycorp Committee as I am, and Ginny heads the Roxburgh Villa Civil Defence Committee (which I am involved in also); so I got to know them fairly well after living here for the last four years.
Ginny had great advice for me, especially the services available in Wellington for new mums (thanks Ginny!). She recommended:
1. Hydro therapy - Wellington Regional Aquatic Centre, Kilbirnie
2. Ante natal classes
3. Mandarin classes at Vic Uni, Kelburn Campus (Wellington Chinese Language School)
Ginny advised that she and her sons used to go to these weekend classes, where they are split into different age groups. She recommends it for children and adults, and says she's had a lot of fun there.
3. Acupuncture with Maurice Tuckwell
Maurice is my acupuncture / Chinese Oriental Medicine / Physio practitioner.
I've been going to see him since early last year, and he has helped me mend my back injury, my knee injuries, my ankle injuries, and he helped me get pregnant and now keep the baby in there till the time is up!
This time we looked at my spine to make sure everything is in tip top shape for carrying the Muir Baby.
I've got some lingering lower abdominal discomfort, and after discussing the likely cause going back to when I was a premature baby myself; he agreed with the ob-gyn consult this early in the piece, and recommends thinking about a C-section as delivery method.
4. Increased hours at DIA
Work is hotting up, and I got offered more hours. So I have signed up to an 8 hour day, albeit to be able to fit in all my medical appointments when they crop up.
This is a good sign, as it stops me from going on the internet to read horror stories about births, birth defects and the other myriad ways pregnancies and births could go wrong.
Makes the day go faster too!
This is a good sign, as it stops me from going on the internet to read horror stories about births, birth defects and the other myriad ways pregnancies and births could go wrong.
Makes the day go faster too!
5. EARTHQUAKE!!!
Yes, it was shaky town on Friday afternoon again.
Talk about good timing! My shift finishes at 2pm. By 2:05 I was outta there (hey, pregnant ladies take a while with the stairs, and then there's the constant leaking bladder issue...), and on my way to see my baby's Fairy Good Mother (more on that in the next post) at Knit World a block away.
As me, the Fairy Good Mother (aka Karyn Pearse) and the Muir Baby made our slow and merry way to the Cuba Mall bus stop to wait for the bus, I noticed that instead of just the bus moving, the whole street was moving with the bus.
Karyn grabbed my arm and we both said "oh, earthquake!", and that's when things went into super wobbly mode. As we stand facing the street, we could see the James Smith building come apart at the joinery to its neighbouring building. Then as the crowd increased along the pavement, the top windows of the building buckled and a few popped out of its frame and nearly shattered onto the people below. Luckily they have a bigger than most pavilion, which managed to screen the glass shower.
There were people in a panic, and we saw a lovely woman narrowly escape the glass shower to our side of safety, and a complete stranger to her (Asian woman!) went to comfort her and make sure she was ok.
Karyn and I waited until all has settled down again (we were a bit worried about the glass ceiling on top of our bus stop, but luckily it didn't shatter like the windows), then we started calling our husbands. My stupid 2 degrees network did not allow for phone connection, so I had to text. Luckily Andrew's text came through and he was ok, albeit under the stairs and on his way out of the building.
We set off back to Knit World to make sure Karyn's co-worker, the shop and any shoppers were alright. To our relief, they were. My aunt Dina called me then, and made sure I was ok too. She said that her Wellington colleague gave her a call after she crawled out from under her desk, so she immediately called me after that. Thanks Dina!
Karyn was expecting to meet up with her husband down at Lambton Quay, and since she rightly guessed that traffic will now be an issue (boy, was she right!), she was off on the next bus while I meandered slowly back to home.
It is like a festival has come to town! Walking along Manners Street, Dixon Street and then Courtenay Place, the whole place was crowded with people. Some managed to talk to family or friends on the phone, others managed to meet up in person. On our way past, we saw that most of the retailers have closed up shop and headed home. I am really glad that this quake didn't happen during lunch break like it did in Christchurch, and that there were not as much damage this time around.
I checked on our next door neighbours the Yu's. They were a bit shook, but nothing in the house moved (thank god!), which was a good indication that ours will be ok too. And sure enough, I meet my darling hubby at the front door, and our house was just like we left it that morning.
Andrew's work place is built to withstand quakes, as it is very close to the harbour, and on reclaimed land. Therefore, his building sways and moves with the earth instead of old concrete buildings that stand rigid. As a result, every time there is a slight tremor, it drives them under their desk because the building sways a lot more than the actual tremor.
Our good friend Keane (photographer of our beautiful wedding photos, designer of our wedding invitations and thank you cards) came by after he finished up at work around the corner. He kindly let us borrow some awesome recipe books for pregnancy and post pregnancy. Given how bad the traffic is (there was a pile up outside our door - and our street doesn't even lead much of anywhere!!!), he decided the quickest way home to Miramar (aka Wellywood) is to walk. Poor guy... made it there in a couple of hours.
After Keane left to get home, Andrew tried to calm his nerves that afternoon, while I was sitting downstairs chilling in the lounge when the aftershock came. It wobbled the second floor of our house more so than the third (as Andrew didn't realise till I yelled "Another one!"). We play games about how bad quakes are, so he guessed 5.4, while I guessed 6. Guess who was right? I was! Yeah, who's the earthquake expert?!!!
All in all, after the Friday after shocks, we didn't feel too many for the rest of the weekend. Some during the sleeping hours, but never as bad as the 6 pointer. We both got work clearance to go back to work on Monday, so things must be back to normal.
So rest assured dear family and friends. We are ok, our house is ok, our sanity is mostly intact, and thank you all very much for your calls, texts, concerns and showers of love. We really appreciate it, and we think of you during those dark times and wish that we too were not here in shaky town, but with you in volcanic city instead.
Talk about good timing! My shift finishes at 2pm. By 2:05 I was outta there (hey, pregnant ladies take a while with the stairs, and then there's the constant leaking bladder issue...), and on my way to see my baby's Fairy Good Mother (more on that in the next post) at Knit World a block away.
As me, the Fairy Good Mother (aka Karyn Pearse) and the Muir Baby made our slow and merry way to the Cuba Mall bus stop to wait for the bus, I noticed that instead of just the bus moving, the whole street was moving with the bus.
Karyn grabbed my arm and we both said "oh, earthquake!", and that's when things went into super wobbly mode. As we stand facing the street, we could see the James Smith building come apart at the joinery to its neighbouring building. Then as the crowd increased along the pavement, the top windows of the building buckled and a few popped out of its frame and nearly shattered onto the people below. Luckily they have a bigger than most pavilion, which managed to screen the glass shower.
There were people in a panic, and we saw a lovely woman narrowly escape the glass shower to our side of safety, and a complete stranger to her (Asian woman!) went to comfort her and make sure she was ok.
Karyn and I waited until all has settled down again (we were a bit worried about the glass ceiling on top of our bus stop, but luckily it didn't shatter like the windows), then we started calling our husbands. My stupid 2 degrees network did not allow for phone connection, so I had to text. Luckily Andrew's text came through and he was ok, albeit under the stairs and on his way out of the building.
We set off back to Knit World to make sure Karyn's co-worker, the shop and any shoppers were alright. To our relief, they were. My aunt Dina called me then, and made sure I was ok too. She said that her Wellington colleague gave her a call after she crawled out from under her desk, so she immediately called me after that. Thanks Dina!
Karyn was expecting to meet up with her husband down at Lambton Quay, and since she rightly guessed that traffic will now be an issue (boy, was she right!), she was off on the next bus while I meandered slowly back to home.
It is like a festival has come to town! Walking along Manners Street, Dixon Street and then Courtenay Place, the whole place was crowded with people. Some managed to talk to family or friends on the phone, others managed to meet up in person. On our way past, we saw that most of the retailers have closed up shop and headed home. I am really glad that this quake didn't happen during lunch break like it did in Christchurch, and that there were not as much damage this time around.
I checked on our next door neighbours the Yu's. They were a bit shook, but nothing in the house moved (thank god!), which was a good indication that ours will be ok too. And sure enough, I meet my darling hubby at the front door, and our house was just like we left it that morning.
Andrew's work place is built to withstand quakes, as it is very close to the harbour, and on reclaimed land. Therefore, his building sways and moves with the earth instead of old concrete buildings that stand rigid. As a result, every time there is a slight tremor, it drives them under their desk because the building sways a lot more than the actual tremor.
Our good friend Keane (photographer of our beautiful wedding photos, designer of our wedding invitations and thank you cards) came by after he finished up at work around the corner. He kindly let us borrow some awesome recipe books for pregnancy and post pregnancy. Given how bad the traffic is (there was a pile up outside our door - and our street doesn't even lead much of anywhere!!!), he decided the quickest way home to Miramar (aka Wellywood) is to walk. Poor guy... made it there in a couple of hours.
After Keane left to get home, Andrew tried to calm his nerves that afternoon, while I was sitting downstairs chilling in the lounge when the aftershock came. It wobbled the second floor of our house more so than the third (as Andrew didn't realise till I yelled "Another one!"). We play games about how bad quakes are, so he guessed 5.4, while I guessed 6. Guess who was right? I was! Yeah, who's the earthquake expert?!!!
All in all, after the Friday after shocks, we didn't feel too many for the rest of the weekend. Some during the sleeping hours, but never as bad as the 6 pointer. We both got work clearance to go back to work on Monday, so things must be back to normal.
So rest assured dear family and friends. We are ok, our house is ok, our sanity is mostly intact, and thank you all very much for your calls, texts, concerns and showers of love. We really appreciate it, and we think of you during those dark times and wish that we too were not here in shaky town, but with you in volcanic city instead.
6. Woo... that funny feeling!
Andrew's work colleague Rebecca is about four weeks ahead of me in terms of due date. She advised me to expect some funny movements or 'feelings' around the 15 ~ 16 weeks, as that was when she started feeling her baby move about.
I was a bit disappointed a couple of days into week 15 when I haven't felt anything yet... but over the weekend, I swear my lower belly felt really weird. It is not exactly gas, but it was a wobbly and a discomforting feeling that I have never felt before.
Thank god Rebecca told me, cos otherwise I would have started eating antacids or laxatives! Instead, I am overjoyed! I can feel my baby move about! The excited daddy wanted to have a feel, but unfortunately its not powerful enough to be felt on the skin level. Ah well... he'll just have to take my word for it and wait till the baby gets bigger!
Sorry about the verbal diarrhea this week, but there's a lot going on, and I am starting to get that mothering craze (I'm sure not every mother is like this though) that worries about every little decision that they make, because it will all somehow affect their kid's future in a kind of warped butterfly effect!
Thanks for reading!
Next week...
I have another appointment with Maurice, I face full-time hours at work, and the weather is supposed to be sunny and warmer!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDon't know what happened there.....I was trying to delete an additional comment cos of a grammatical glitch and everything has gone. :-( I will try again tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteHi Mum,
ReplyDeleteNot to worry. I have rescued it below and made some corrections on your behalf:
Begin comment:
What a jam-packed week!
I am sure you could have done without the wobbling, but all things being equal, your home stood the test and you had the weekend ahead, meaning you and Drew knew exactly there the other one was. I think that must be a dreadful worry - even working in the same city, one could be so near and yet so far from each other in the time of chaos.
Ante-Natal classes - to go or not to go...
Well, for what it is worth, they didn't exist some 40 odd years ago. Also I tried to work for as long as possible when I was pregnant, meaning that my evenings and weekends were sacrosanct. I found I was usually overtired by the end of the day and going anywhere else other than home wasn't very attractive.
I have heard good and bad things about these classes - they are horses for courses. There are women who wouldn't dream of a going through a preganancy without them and others who find them less than perfect. I suppose it is simply the luck of the draw. But I have slight misgivings about the fact that there appears to be a thread of an "agenda" running through their delivery. Nobody needs to be made to feel inadequate. A woman is never more vulnerable, or lacking in self-confidence when surveying motherhood through the eyes of a very new first time mum. I personally remember it as being breathtakingly marvelous and scarey all mixed up together.The last thing one needs is a whole lot of preconceived and ingrained notions getting in the way of simply coping.I didn't even have to go to these classes to feel bewildered - I was struggling to get Tracey "latched on" the day after she was born. We stayed in a "nursing home" as they were called, for one week in those days. I had one nurse tell me to lie down and try to get her latched and some time after another nurse looked in and told me in no uncertain terms that I was being ridiculous trying to feed her that way. Hannah - it is trial and error. YOUR trial and error. You need to be well informed about all the alternatives, but NEVER to be made to feel you are wrong. New mothers are hardly ever wrong....their instincts are usually sound. They crave reassurance not negative vibes. I agree with everything you have said about choices. You need to feel in control and that you have support in all the choices you make. There is a lot to be said about breastfeeding once you get the hang of it. I tried with four, and only felt really comfortable with my last two. But they were choices I made for myself and the baby.I look forward to chatting with you in person about all this.
Sorry this has been such a long reply.
Hi Mum,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your advise and take on my worries. I really appreciate it.
A great mommy friend Marti has shown Andrew and I the materials that she went through via Ante Natal class, and also recommended one which actually teaches parents how to prepare a bottle and sterilize them too! So I guess they do exist!!!
Looking forward to catching up with all of you also. Probably not enough time to say all that we would like to say, but at least we could see each other again. Hehehe.
Take care and have a great day at home.
Hannah